Lethal Cocktails

by Peggy Pegworth

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Poetry mixed with jazz, wine, vodka, paraffin and techno-house.

Agent Pegworth is accompanied by jazz piano as she arrests a citizen for loving without due care and attention and then reveals the secrets of The Dangerchix. The Theakletuffin Poem is a peculiar fairytale for grown-ups which investigates what happens when the Cumbleduffinbing is caught snibbledorping. Lethal Cocktail is a warning not to mix poetry and wine. Boat Rockin Weekend describes what happened when the Dangerchix arrived in Camden on a narrowboat with vodka and paraffin (for fire spinning) and God's Garden is a house-music journey to a free party in a field somewhere in the 1990's.

PARENTAL ADVISORY: Some tracks contain inappropriate language unsuitable for younger children.


released September 21, 2016

Peggy Pegworth: Lyrics
Alex Gordon: Piano on Danger Files, Licence to Love and The Theakletuffin Poem.
Preetesh Hirji: Music on Boat Rockin Weekend and God's Garden.
Antti Uusimaki: Music on God's Garden.
Hamilton Lee: Music on Lethal Cocktail and the bonus track.
Everything was recorded at Eastcote Studios, London except for Lethal Cocktail which we recorded at Hami's house. Big thanks to Philip Bagenal and Hamilton Lee. xx



all rights reserved


Peggy Pegworth UK

I write about narrowboats, addictions and failed love affairs. When I was a performance poet in London I was part of a poetry gang called The Radge Poets.

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Track Name: Licence to Love
Excuse me sir, could I see your licence to love?
Do you know how fast you were loving just then?
Maybe you don't know, but I've just got to mention,
I suspect you of loving without due care and attention.
Track Name: The Danger Files
Good people of London, never fear
It’s the 21st century and the chicks are here
For years we worked in secret in our submarine bases
Mostly changing our outfits and fixing our faces
But now we are ready for saving the earth
Working undercover as Les Chics Dangereuse.
Track Name: The Theakletuffin Poem
The Theakletuffin Poem

In the reign of Mirklezar
The theakletuffin king
Times were hard for mirklims
And the Cumbleduffinbing

There were shortages of Slershernuff
And gooeydopper soup
All the mirklims had to eat
Was gootimirk and schloop.

In the secret garden of the Cumbleduffinbing
The gooeydopper grows and the slershernuffer sing
But the Cumbleduffinbing was rarely ever seen
Since he'd been snibbledorping the Theakletuffin queen.

“If only I could find him”, said the Theakletuffin king
“I’d like to have a wordlet with the Cumbleduffinbing.”
So the mirklims brewed a barrel of humpletwithleting
To stop the snibbledorping of the Cumbleduffinbing

And then filling up their humpleflasks
A hardy band of three
Mirklims triffled off
Headed for Affleby-on-Sea.

By the Cambernooney Sea
Rested the Cumbleduffinbing
When the mirklims triffled up
With their humpletwithleting

They tied him up with morkel weed
He gave a cumble roar
With humpleflasks at ready
They pushed him to the floor

They may be small and mirkish
But in threes they’re mighty strong
They gave him such a flask full
That the plan went twithle wrong.

So, the secret garden keeper
Was overdosed, and died.
The theakletuffin queen
Was so morose she cried

And flooded mirklim valley
With theakletuffin tears
So noone saw a slershernuff
For fifty seven years.

The moral of this story isn’t hard to ascertain
Because random snibbledorping is such a deadly game,
But mirklims take it too far
And everyone agrees

That the king should pass a law
To stop them triffling in threes.

© Peggy Pegworth
Track Name: Lethal Cocktail
I've been dedicated to research
In search of the ultimate high
Testing various cocktails
And there's one you shouldn't try.

Wine before beer
Will make you feel queer
Take your beer before the wine
And you'll feel just fine

And they say never mix
The grapes and the grains
Take it shaken not stirred
And drink it like James.

But some can mix drinks
Like others mix beats
So it ain't just wine
That'll lose your sleeps.

It starts with some wine
Maybe just a droplet
And then a fine rhyme
Maybe just a couplet.

But it always leads to the harder stuff
And just one verse is never enough
A cheeky sonnet, just one for the road
But take it with wine and it's overload.

So to make you feel better
You share it with a friend
Unaware he's gonna come
To a lyrical end

He swallows it down
Like a vintage barrel
Now he's making up words
Like a proper Lewis Carroll.

Soon you're knocking back literary volumes
And waking up speechless in libraries and bedrooms
You can't remember the words that were said
That went straight to your poetical head.

It's a dangerous mix and you've had your warnings
But when you've had to write off too many Monday mornings
And some decadent poet offers you a line
Just think twice about mixing poetry, and wine.
Track Name: Boat Rockin' Weekend
it was a fingerlickin danger chikkin hip hoppin boat rockin weekend
there was no beginning i don't remember the end
something about my visiting friend
and how i thought we could all go out on the boat
moor up in Camden have a drink and have a bloke
take two boats six blokes and three danger chix
shaken with vodka and you got your mix
these chix with fire stix
they're lairey women they're fire spinning and no one can get past
they're down the canal with paraffin now and blocking the tow path
NO you can't get past!
a little more vodka a little more wine
its ten to ten and its cowboy time
(ten to ten ten ten ten ten ten to ten ten ten ten ten )
is it time for lurve? no its time for the pub
an Irish man sez is it really your boat?
my best friends deciding to snog which bloke
she has a go on that and she has a go on this
we find a teenage boy and we teach him how to kiss
him and his mate should not have walked by
its his birthday he's drunk and he wants to have a try
so we bring him on board and invited him to chill
and tinfoil space girl gives him a birthday thrill
princess geka wants to have a go
and i do too but my date said
its after the pub when were chilling on the roof
i said we're danger chikin chiks and here's the proper proof
i should not be out of order i should not get drunk by water
chillin on the roof with the birthday Casanova
i casually recline and deciding to rollover
i forget about the hatch and the six foot drop
at the bottom of the stairs is where the dangerchikkin stopped
it hurts here it hurts there i tell you what it hurts
ive done it to my wrist and i think its getting worse
get the boy off the boat and his funky friend
it was a proper pucka party but its coming to an end
the friend is so pilled up he does his back flip thang
and he looks like the kid from the red hand gang
that’s it and they're off and I like to watch them go
do I want to go to casualty I don’t fukkin think so
strap it up like you should strap it up damn good
have a kip until the morning
take the boat back to the mooring
and I did it with a bandage
I navigated it left handed
it takes us hours cruising west
so I had another rest
Finally on Monday morning
ended up in a & e
without a danger chikin warning
I am some emergency!
You’ve done it now girl this does. Not. Look. Good.
You shoulda stopped drinking when you said you would
The doctor chik has spoken I am fractured I am broken
I wished I hadn't asked her how long I would be in plaster
But it was a fingerlickin dangerchikkin trouble makin prisoner takin este lauder out of order narrow boat weekend
And if a chiklet looks for danger she will find it in the end.
Track Name: God's Garden
It's a beautiful day for the country club
And I don't mean playing golf
It's the Brew Crew, Barney McGrew
Charlie, Billy and Rolf

Out of the van quick as you can
And make some noise with your big boys toys
As headlights are sneaking
From free ways and highways
Along ancient roads
Up green lanes and byways

It's the bush telegraph
Text message information
Just like in the movies
Location location!

Checking voicemail directions
The message is saved
The revolution won't be televised
It will be microwaved!

Microwaves from a mobile phone
But I can't say which mobile phone
And as if by magic a system appears
But I can't say which sound system

Out of the darkness the hills come alive
But I can't say which hills to you
As surreptitious cars arrive
But I can't say what, which or who

I can say that it's getting busy
Easy sleazy cheesy dizzy
People meeting beats repeating
Drugged up hugged up fleeting greeting

Housey techno trancey spacey
Parts of it are drum n bassey
Selling tea the techno tea truck
Has one enormous fluoro tea cup

Litter dropping townies
With designer attitudes
Techno gnomes and fluoro fairies
Easy geezer dudes

Oh they're all here tonight
But if you get here late
Techno techno take no notice
Of the squad car at the gate

The boys in blue don't understand
This site is still free common land
I've even seen the pigs that fly
A whirly machine up in the sky
That costs a hundred pounds a minute
And that is where our tax goes innit?

Oh please protect us from ourselves!
These nasty naughty party elves
It's free because they think it's funny
To do a party for no money

This DIY we've got to stop it
You can't just do things without profit
Who organised this? Who's in charge?
What do you mean You're all in charge?

No hierarchy?
No social divide?
It's anarchy!
Someone DECIDE!

Turn off the system
Who complained?
Where do you live
And what's your name?

Constable You can't have sent
For the man from the environment
If the locals aren't disturbed
So officer just have a word

With all the boys
And round em up
Your guvner can't be woken up
To sign that public order paper
Nice one squirrel, see ya later.

This site will not be public ordered
With some five mile exclusion zone
The sun is up, the dawn is over
We've finished now we're going home.

Ringing ears from singing tweeters
Loading up the van with speakers
Filling up our plastic bags
With bottles cans and ends of fags
It's tidy now, it's very nice
It's nicer than when we arrived

The Sunday ramblers are surprised
The local squire’s out for a ride
And he's looking very dapper
In his Sunday morning clobber

Disgusted says, "I beg your pardon
Would you do this in someone's garden?
This is God's Garden where you're at."
There's only one reply to that.
"This is Gods Garden isn't it?
Well we're The Church of Having It."

(c) Peggy Pegworth 2000